im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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