Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...

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(845): View more from New York

our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

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(573): View more from Missouri

you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.

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(909): View more from California

I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.

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(407): View more from Florida

How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?

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(718): View more from New York

Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.

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(239): View more from Florida

These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.

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