need another drink. this is the easiest way
My nipple is on Facebook.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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