Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
