Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
