dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
