using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
