using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
