I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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