At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
