Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
