If i come over, it means nothing
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize