I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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