fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
