Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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