I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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