I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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