so explain again why im purple
no
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
