Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
