if you like me you must not know who I am
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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