How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
