his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
