By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
