yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
