a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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