Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize