He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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