Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
