You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
only you would photoshop your dick
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize