I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
