So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
