the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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