i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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