I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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