Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
