Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
