I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
