they need to just BURY HIM!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Farmville is her only friend.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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