Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize