my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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