The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
