Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
