I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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