The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize