I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
