You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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