VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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