dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize