that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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