I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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