I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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