Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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