is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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