Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
