Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize