He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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