Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
