i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
