I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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