dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize