And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
