i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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