it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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