I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My vagina is officially offended.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
