apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize