last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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