i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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